He fell out the window

B fell out the upstairs window last night. Can I tell you how my heart was in my throat and I am quite sure it was the scariest thing I've witnessed. Here is the story, my nephew was to stay the night and because dh's brother is in the guest room I set up the couch bed (its like a fouton) in the upstairs playroom. I just set it up where it was. It was next to the windows which are quite long and only about 2 ft from the floor. I had the a/c on so the windows were closed but B was up there with daddy after diner and wanted to talk to his cousin who was eating in the backyard so he opened the window. I guess he leaned up against the screen and it gave way. Dh wasn't able to grab him in time, I was downstairs I heard the noise and saw him fall. It was frightening for sure. He landed outside on the grass which was somewhat softer from me watering. I ran out side and B was crying and shivering. Moving his legs and arms though. I told dh we needed to get him to hospital then after said to call 911. In my gut I felt he was ok but still needed to be checked out for internal bleeding fractures etc. He was responsive and alert during the ambulance ride and was super brave at the hospital. They quickly assessed him got him in for X-ray's, bloodwork a internal surgeon came in for a check. Once they cleared his c-spine he was sitting up playing eye spy with us. He had a bite to eat and they let us go home at 10. Very speedy trip through the ER. I am so thankful he wasn't seriously injured. I think I was fairly calm after the initial screaming as I saw him fall and running out to him. My gut told me that he was ok, but on the inside the "what if's" where there. The thought flashed through my mind that I could lose him. I thought should that happen they should just commit me and dope me up for the duration of my life because I don't want to even go there. Grieving Gavin has been most difficult. Grieving another child....my only living child...shit I really don't want to go there. I know there are ladies in the blog world who have said goodbye to more than one child and they are surviving so yes I know we do what we need to do....but no one wants too... He's ok....his little brother helped him to glide down and be ok...interesting because birds have always been my connection to G....his urn, his name in the sand photo with the bird like clouds....and my new tattoo was to/will have flying birds. This morning he is doing ok. He says his mouth hurts to open too much and he has a booboo on his forehead. The ER doctor said he might be sore and to give him Advil. At the hospital...snoozing At home smiling