The PCOS curse and surprise MFI

So....here is some background. I always knew that I would have trouble ttc (trying to conceive). Let's face is when a women doesn't have a regular cycles the chances of getting pregnant are pretty slim. I was dx with PCOS back in 2001 but I am sure I had it since the onset of puberty. At my official dx I was told to ttc only 6 months before getting help.

PCOS sucks it really does. I HATE what it has done to my body. I hate acne, I hate excess hair, I hate gaining weight for no reason, I hate that I have to do IF (Infertility) treatments to have a baby, I hate that it prevented me from BF (breastfeeding) my child.

So DH (Dear Husband) and I got married in 2005. I made sure to let him know in advance that we may have trouble ttc. DH was ok with that. Right after our wedding I stoped taking BCP (birth control pills). Ok someone may ask why would I need BCP's when I don't O (ovulate)...well they do help with some of the PCOS side effects and apparently they prevent the ovaries from becoming too cystic and unresponsive to later IF treatments.

So I stopped BCP's in July by Oct I went to visit my family DR....he told us to keep dtd. That was frustrating....we could dtd everyday but we were not going to get pregnant without the O. So the DR did some tests and sent us...well me to an OB/GYN. The OB/GYN did a HSG which was perfect and she asked for DH to do an SA (Semen Analysis). If all came back ok I could start clomid.

Unfortunately DH's SA came back "sub-fertile" and we were referred to the Fertility and Women's Endocrine Clinic at RAH Edmonton. Of course at the time I was devastated....most times MFI can not be easily fixed. But looking back now going to the clinic was the best thing for us.

We saw DR M at the clinic. He is the absolute best. He is very knowledgeable about PCOS, he is also very personable and enthusiastic. He told us that DH's MFI wasn't as bad as the OB/GYN had made it out to be and that IUI with O induction meds would probably do the trick for us.

So Sept 06 we started our first cycle with clomid and iui. Surprise surprise we got our BFP (Big fat positive) Even the Dr was surprise that the very first cycle worked. Unfortunately it wasn't meant to be. The pregnancy was monitored by b/w and u/s eventually on Nov 8 it was determined that it was not a viable pregnancy. I had to induce a miscarriage. It was the worst night of my life.

It's not just the loss of the pregnancy but the loss of what could have been, the loss of hopes and dreams for that LO. I grieved pretty hard. Every week as we watch my HCG levels go down I was reminded of what I had lost.

By January we were ready to start our next cycle. It was BFN. Clomid it seems was having an effect on my endometrial lining. So for our third cycle in Feb 07 we moved onto Gonal F which is an injectable FSH (Folicle Stimulating Hormone). We got our second BFP. We were thrilled and just a little anxious.

Fortunately the pregnancy stuck and resulted in our Brennan. The birth story is posted on Brennan's site http://babymason.aboutmybaby.com/journal/2007/11 I had the perfect pregnancy so I am not surprised that the labour and delivery were difficult. I do believe my labour was not managed well. If you have read the birth story you know that while the DR delivered Brennan by c-section he discovered that my uterus had ruptured. I don't normally consider myself a lucky person but as my RE told me we really dodged a bullet on that one. I didn't realize at the time but Brennan could have died.

It is VERY rare that an unscarred uterus rupture. There are a few things which cause rupture, some of which describe my situation very well. First my labour was augmented with Oxytocin, I feel that it was overused. Second malpresentation. Brennan was ROT (right occiput transverse) and wouldn't turn. Third prolonged labour. I was pushing for more than 5 hours. I have since read that for a first labour 3 hours is usually the max.

So I guess that brings us to the present/future. As of July 31st I will have the OK to ttc a sibling for Brennan. But our plan is to wait a big longer likely next summer. There are things that need to be done....like I have to go back to work, we would like to buy a larger home, I would also need to get a referral back to the clinic. So as anxious as I might be to grow our family I am waiting.

So until then I will be concentrating on being a good mom and wife and eventually employee again.