Maybe an answer to my question?

Well I may finally have an answer to the question of what exactly happened during Brennan's birth that cause my uterus to tear.

I ordered my hospital records and surgical report. I can't say that those cleared the confusion any. This is what it said pertaining to my tear.

"The uterine incision was closed in 2 layers using a continuous chromic 1 suture with complete hemostasis being obtained. There had been an extension on the left side of the cervix and this had been repaired."

I only lost about 1000ml of blood which they say is average (my nurse friend said this was at the high end of normal 800mls is actually average) and I didn't require a transfusion.

Yeah so I didn't get the word extension in the context of a tear. BUT I have met a lady on FF who just happens to work in the case room and OR at the hospital where I delivered. I asked her to decipher and this is what she told me.

What likely happened was that because Brennan was so engaged in my pelvis (I was dx with deep transverse arrest) that when the DR was delivering him the uterine incision tore down the left side and through my cervix.

This type of vertical tear of course puts me at risk of rupture should I labour at all with another pregnancy.. I have wondered about the sufficiency of my cervix and I have heard contrasting views. One that scar tissue will prevent a cervix from dilating and two that trauma to the cervix can cause IC. More to ask the DR.

OK well Dh and I are off to the mountains tomorrow.....kind of a birthday/last Christmas gift. We are taking Brennan. It would be nice to have a romantic weekend but I don't want to abuse my parents generosity with their caring for Brennan while I work. Besides I have not left him overnight before I am sure he would miss us.

Work is going. Only in for half day tomorrow just to get some mid month stuff done. My boss will be away all week next week so I don't want to be completely bogged down when I am on my own.

There is some buzz going on at the office about a possible merge with another firm. Today there was a big meeting with some of the partners of this other firm. Sure enough while I was covering the receptionists break they all came out of the boardroom and went across to take a look at the empty office space on the other side of the floor. We had already expanded into about half of that space....looks like we may be taking the whole floor pretty soon.

But that speculation has some people worried about their jobs. Of course it won't affect each lawyers assistant but say for the administration which includes me I don't know. I can only assume that this firm already has their own staff...I know that if we added 4-5 more lawyers my position would get much busier....enough for 2 people I don't know. I guess we just wait and see.

I think I am pretty desirable as an employee. I did get my demands regarding coming back after mat leave. But if it came down to it I don't think it would take to long to find a new job. But really the reason I decided to go back to the firm was to have an income to buy the house, dual benefit coverage to get my tooth fixed and of course for the convenience to the fertility clinic to get pregnant again!

Ok well I am totally procrastinating I need to jump in the shower before bed. I am started to get another nasty headache....I predict snow for tomorrow....stupid barometer head....sigh.