Babies babies...

The neighbour finally had her baby. Little girl was born early yesterday morning via c-section. I and other neighbour (the photographer in training) went over to the hospital today. I actually volunteered to take her. Some people might think what?! Yeah I have been insanely jealous for the last 38 or so weeks....for sure....but that doesn't stop me from wanting to have some baby snuggles. She is adorable and I enjoyed our visit. BUT now I am feeling melancholy....missing my G...and the one that I should be carrying now. Neighbour was in a semi private and the other mom and baby were discharged while we were there. Baby was in a blue car seat with blue blankies....I assumed of course baby was a boy. After they left our neighbour couple told us baby was actually a girl...oh ok?...they went in to say the couple had a baby boy last year born with a chromosomal abnormality who lived for just 3 hours....I guess that accounts for the blue. My heart went out to them....but a little jealous they were taking home their rainbow. How bad is that? :(. Being jealous of other moms who've been through their own tragedies...that just not cool. Pretty sure we saw a dead baby at the hospital the other day when we went for our appointment at the clinic. We walked through the women's pavilion to the parking garage. We saw a gentleman...of a different ethnicity then his entourage wheeling a baby cot with a pink blankie draped overtop. His entourage seemed to be staff and they were heading away from the chapel. Both W and I looked, craned our necks.....Will though I was being envious....I said no...I don't think that baby is alive. So much loss....so much sorrow....so much joy.....