Christmas 2011

Well Christmas has come and gone, our tree is still up but will come down soon....it's only been up since mid November!  Brennan is just really excited about the holiday, he is currently singing a little Christmas ditty to the tune of twinkle twinkle....lol.
Truthfully even though 2011 wasn't a really great or even good year it was far better than 2010.  Last Christmas I was in tears and just really not in the mood.  This year I was able to brave stores, feel excited about giving my family a nice Christmas.  I am glad for that.  In some ways my life is at a standstill but emotionally I guess I am moving forward in my grief.

I've been posting recently from my i.pad.  The posts do not recognize any paragraph formatting and for some reason I can not upload any pictures....so I brave DH's new laptop (it is a lot different from our last one) so I can share a couple of pictures.


On Christmas Eve I was on my way home from the gym and noticed this:

Can you see the rainbow?!?  It was a beautiful sunny day we had had no precipitation at all.  It seemed really out of the ordinary. My thoughts....can this one be for me?? 

Brennan had a good Christmas, he was excited to open the presents under the tree.  He surprised me by being able to recognized which presents belonged to him, Daddy and myself (via the name tag).  He played a very good Santa and was excited to see what Daddy and Mommy got to unwrap as well.
Much different from the chaos of his Birthday.

Both Brennan and I currently have colds which were nice enough to hold out till boxing day before kicking in.  I am happy to have had a few extra days off work to recoup since I used all my personal days for 2011.  I go in tomorrow and Friday, hopefully it won't be crazy or anything.
I figured its better to be sick now then later.  It would be preferable to do ivf healthy...lol

As for our IVF I should be able to call in cd 1 next week and we'll go from there with the afc and sis.  if I don't actually cycle for another few weeks I am ok with that. Maybe I am a little nervous....not for the actual process....more for the results I guess I don't want to suffer further disappointment.  I really do have a hard time with the whole money factor too.  Putting out all the money for something that may not work.  I guess this is something all infertile couples will consider and weigh the pros and cons of proceeding with IVF.  By all accounts I should have a decent success rate....however I also though it would be a non issue getting pregnant again with IUI and that didn't happen.

Oh in weight loss news....I broke 30lbs down!!!  I do tend to fluctuate a lot so this may not last but as of today I am down 30.8 lbs :)