A couple of weeks ago I posted on FF's immune issues board, I wanted to know if these issues can appear after/during a second pregnancy.....and by that I meant late in pregnancy. I was tested for a bunch of immune and clotting disorders after G and those were clear but there are so many other possibilities that are still a bit controversial and the testing is just not offered here. Dr M did agree we could do intralipids with another ivf, so basically we would treat an issue without knowing I was affected....but it got me to thinking, another ivf is probably not in the cards and unless I can convince dr m to help me get the infusions IF I get a non art bfp or bfp with iui then my body will probably just kill the embryo/fetus.
This got me a bit upset, the church talks about the sanctity of human life and disapproves of abortion and I am not going to talk about my personal views on abortion....it upsets me that if G-d is so concerned about people aborting their babies the why oh why has he made it so my body kills my babies?...probably perfectly healthy babies....we know Gavin was....and potentially some stupid autoimmune disease killed him....it just doesn't make any sense to me.
It makes me so angry.
One of the hr people at work is pregnant, I can't stand to look at her. She's so happy and excited. Two of my Nov 07 mommies are newly pregnant...I try so hard to be happy for them but I can't see beyond my own hurt and pain. As much as I am sick of trying, the pain of my infertility and losses doesn't seem to get any better :(
1 comment:
I haven't seen your blog for years, but i recently rejoined FF and you've been in my thoughts. I hope things get better for you
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