Feb 3

 Its been over a week since my last post. I've had sufficient time to cool off, don't get me wrong I'm still not overly happy about the situation but then that seems to be a theme for me.

Dh and I both took B to his therapy appointment yesterday.  He was in a bit of a mood going in, he was a little tired having stayed up rather late (slap mommy and daddy hands) but he had a good session.  Expressed some of his feelings in an appropriate manner.  This is something we need to work on at home, and of course make an example of ourselves doing the same.

Dh and I got our turn.  So of course K now knows about the most recent job loss.  We talked about that.  We talked about how B's dislike for dad makes Dh feel.  We also talked a lot about me.  We finally got to follow up with our discussion from the 9th.  K says she is concerned about me and has been since we talked back in January.  We did the phq 9 together and of course the results are somewhat concerning.  It was hard to do that in front of Dh.  I did send a request off to the eap and I am waiting to see how exactly all that works.  It's so much bother to have to do appointments, not to mention it takes me way out of my comfort zone....but it's been quite long enought that I do probably need to get this figured out.  I don't want to be unhappy forever and I am sure Dh and the kids don't want to see me being unhappy all the time.  K does thing I have depression not just unresolved grief. Our next appointment is feb 26 (K is going on holiday lucky her!) she said we can either come with B as normal or Dh and I alone or me alone.  She suggested Dh and I alone.  Dh is supposed to keep an eye on me.  Don't worry I won't do anything drastic.