15 months to the day

Today is 15 months since I gave birth to Gavin.  It also happens to be a Saturday which is the same day of the week Gavin was born. Life has kept moving forward but today I can't help but feel sad.  Not like in the beginning when Saturdays (well every day) were still very hard.  But sad all the same.  I was awake early this morning thinking about my sweet boy, watching his montages and looking at his pictures.

I took this picture to work yesterday:

I taped it to the wall at my desk under a picture of Brennan. It was time.  I needed to have a picture of both my sons.  It was only noticed once I pointed it out.

The people called from the EPL program yesterday but they called home so I am supposed to call back.  They told me they would call back after my RE follow up so I was expecting the call.  Not really sure what I will say thought.  Sure I can tell them what happened and how I feel about it all.  But I am not sure that is going to help any!  I don't get this counseling thing.!

I had diner with a couple of my former co-workers after work last night.  The told me the CHB of an office manager lost her mother back in December and took 3 weeks off.  I feel bad that I can hardly muster any sympathy for this woman.    I didn't know the mother, it's sad she was sick but death really affects the people that are left in the aftermath and I don't feel bad for W.  I am normally a very sympathetic person and have been known to shed tears and feel bad for complete strangers, animals etc.  But I can't get past how I was treated by her to see anything but cold in her.

Going for my tattoo consult today.  I hope I can get it done before we cycle again.