Today I saw a FB status of a virtual mommy friend of mine. It was to commemorate the birth of her first daughter 9 years ago today. Her daughter lived for about 6 weeks before she went home to be with the Lord. I left a message to wish her a Happy Heavenly Birthday. Later on I checked out the post again and read some of the other comments. I got to one while it was surely meant to be well meaning I had to cringe at this part:
"God gives us what he feels we can handle and sometimes that means sorrow and heartache. He has a plan for all of us even though we may not always like that plan."
The same commenter came back a bit later apologizing for sounding intensive (kuddos to the commenter) FB friend all was ok.
I have to wonder if it was all "ok?" Is it possible that one day BLM's can accept that above statement? or just learn to accept that other people just don't understand?
I am no theologian but I really honestly don't think that God wants to see any of us suffer the sorrow or heartache of losing a child, that is not his plan or will. He intended this world to be perfect.
We "handle" this because there is really no other choice not because we are superwomen who were specially made to live through intense grief.
I fully admit that my own faith has wavered over the last year and a bit and that no I haven't found it in myself to step back into the Church we once attended faithfully. I've been angry, I have blamed, I have been stubborn. I have to have faith that I am not alone in this, faith for the future beyond this earthly life and that one day my babies and I will be together again. Without faith there is nothing.
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)
3 comments:
I hate it when people make dumb comments like that, I am glad that person realized it. I think we have all questioned, it's ok. We are human. Thinking of you.
I wonder often how it all works. Seems to me that God would be the most sympathetic having lost his only son. And then Jesus goes on to tell us that children are so very special that they are assigned special angels in heaven to watch over them.
I question many of life's cruelties. Sometimes I resign to accept that I just don't understand the bigger picture or how it all works. Other times I get seriously ticked off and angry with God.
I like what the other commenter said...we all have questioned this. And the fact that we are all human, we each have had our heartache. I think the best thing we can do, is to to reach out to others. It seems to be the only thing that provides some measure of comfort: to know that someone else is trying to understand and support you.
Sending you much love and light.
I don't believe the "not more than you can handle" statement at all. Period. I don't believe God, or Jesus, or anyone else puts people through sorrow or pain in order to fulfill a plan he has for them. I certainly don't believe God allows a child to die. Horrible things happen to everyone, and it sucks when they happen. It hurts, it's not fair, and often it makes us very angry at God and at other people (even if it's not their fault). My mom had a stroke at age 26 that left her handicapped. People "reassure" her with the same statement that person said, and instead of being comforting, it made her very angry. Like God was punishing her, and she wondered why God picked her to make that happen to. Anyway, I am glad the person realized that sounded insensitive, but I also hope they realize that God's plan has nothing to do with infertility, children dieing, or many of the other hardships we go through.
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