Stuff 21/4/12

Last weekend we had C here. While she is a lovely baby she is at that stage where she knows she's with strangers. We picked her up Friday night and was informed she was a bit fussy from having her 6 month shots that morning. Needless to say our evening was not great it included projectile vomit (all over my bed!) and hugely fussy baby and a trip out to the store for tem.pra. Good news she slept through no problems. On Saturday I prepped her for a visit with the birth mom. The driver brought her back around 530...and we had fussy baby again. It must be hard for her spending the day with bm (getting overfed in hopes she would stay quiet) then brought back to the almost strangers again. I rocked her to sleep at 730 and she was out for the night. Sunday she was good not much fussiness at all. I even got her to roll over for the first time during tummy time. Then we took her home. You could tell how happy she was to be home. After all that I was like forget it no more babies. We are so beyond that with a 4 year old and I am so beyond trying. But..... Later that afternoon I walked in on dh crying holding our Gavin bear (that I usually monopolize). So I snuggled with him and talked about what was bothering him. I guess he's not quite ready to quit yet. I agreed that even while I intend to start my prerequisites so go back to school we can still try. I have 3 cycle of clomid left of my lifetime max of 12....so it's not ivf but if I can ovulate then at least there is a chance. My friend and I worked out with the personal trainer Monday. He killed my legs. Yesterday was the first day I could do the stair without cringing to much. It's funny everywhere else ok....quads a mess. Must have been those squat thrusts with the 25lb weight.....ugh! Not sure how I am supposed to get to the gym 3x per week when I can't even walk! My sister mentioned she saw that blm I mentioned last post in person the other day. It was an "oopsie" pregnancy and she is due any day. Yes in my head I can imagine what emotions that might have evoked not being ready for another pregnancy and to have it happen so soon after their loss. However....it doesn't override that wtf has it been over two years and much art and nothing? Anyhow she told my sister she plans for another vbac. Are you serious!? Her baby that died was a vbac, a large baby, got stuck, lack of oxygen to brain, dead. Who would risk that again?! Me I would be signing consent forms for a c-section. No way I would risk a vbac after that.