It's been a beautiful weekend. Spring is in the air and Summer is right around the corner. I did have to spend today at work...unpacking...not much fun.
I was so looking forward to this spring. A new life in a new baby. Now it feels like there isn't so much to look forward to. Just the same drudgery of work and home during the week and family time on the weekend.
I was at my sisters this past Friday. I held little baby girl. I have to admit that it felt good to hold her on my chest. Fussy little miss calmed down and fell asleep. So sweet.
I wish I had thought to hold Gavin on my chest and close to my heart as he slowly passed. I tear up just thinking about it. But I forgive myself. It's easy to think back about what I would have liked to do but it's not so easy in the moment to think past the shock and trauma of it all.
35 weeks today. We would have been a family of 4 within the next four weeks. Praying Gavin will send us a little Rainbow this spring.
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