A little TTC update

To put it in very few words....I believe AF is near.

I am pretty sure we are not pregnant this cycle.  Of course I am disappointed....what else would I be?  I am at the point already, after only one cycle of trying sans iui that I am ready to throw in the towel.   I just can't do this, the stress of manging a cycle, the opk's that never turn positive, trying to attain precise timing in order to maximize our chances with sub fertile sperm...sigh...then the desperate disappointment when all that effort amounts to another cd 1.

Part of me says who cares, our last two babies were made at the fertility clinic the next one can be too.  Take the stress off of us and let the doctor worry about it.  The other part of me would rather not have to go there again.  But I think that stems from the fact that I didn't think I would ever have to go there again....I wasn't supposed to have to be doing any of this again.

Walk to Remember is today.  I signed us up a while ago.  I really want to go, at the same time I dread it. Coming face to face with my emotions in public isn't really something I am looking forward to.  At least most everyone else will understand.  It is supposed to be a beautiful day, I am glad for that.  Nothing more perfect than a beautiful autumn day to remember and honour all the little lives lost.  I plan on taking my camera...and will post some pictures later.