I started a post meant to be posted on November 9th, exactly 10 months to the day that Gavin was born and died. I decided to delete it. I didn't really have anything new to say. It still hurts, I still wish he was here, I miss not having him. I don't think those things will ever change.
Life now is different from 10 months ago. I've learned to cope and learned to let myself smile every once in a while. I've learned to function. But there is never ever a day he is not on my mind. While it does make me sad most of the time I don't ever want to have a day that I don't think of him.
It is SO important to me. He is so important to me.
Well I guess I got my miracle. Our cat showed up last night. I was watching tv and heard some scratching on the garden door. Stewy?? Sure enough. A little dirty and very hungry but seems to be in good health. Bring on some more miracles please!
IUI #5 is tomorrow morning. Now comes the important part....getting the sample...I ALWAYS worry about this part because I have to leave in DH's hands (no pun intended...haha) It would be fabulous to have a BFP this cycle. Both Brennan and Gavin were first FSH/IUI cycles....I know it could happen. Afraid to be let down but if I do get a BFN it just means another cycle and they (fertility experts) all say if it's going to work it will in 3 cycles. So that's it only 2 more cycles at most. I think I can manage that.
Sending out special hugs to L tonight as she remembers her precious little man who was born still November 11, 2009.
1 comment:
Wishing you good luck on IUI #5 this morning!
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