Well I guess I am a little more upset then I let on in my last post. I went to bed last night and silently cried (I don't like Dh to know). I awoke this morning and wished I never had to leave my bed ever again. But of course I forced myself to get up and go to work.
Then the paranoia sets in. I email dh. No response. An hour later try again. No response. Now I am freaking out in my head wondering where is he. Did he get fired? That is so the last thing we need right now but of course would probably be a fitting end to the f'ing bad year we have had. I start thinking bad things, wishing all of this away....forever.
I had a rush right before lunch. As soon as I was able to go I called DH. He hadn't checked his email. OMG. I freaked out for NOTHING. How do you NOT check your email. Outlook always has that pop up notification.
This afternoon the cramps started. AF is surely on her way. Guessing a baseline for Friday or Sunday and maybe if all goes smoothly for IUI#6 a BFP for Christmas.
I know I don't *deserve* anything but that sure would be a nice gift and then maybe I will be able to squeeze some happiness out through the holidays otherwise it's looking pretty bleak.
1 comment:
I am so sorry that it didn't work out this cycle. I really hope that you get that BFP for Christmas, too. You certainly do deserve it. (((hugs)))
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