We've been off for a few days. My BIL has come for a visit so we "staycation." On the weekend I was pretty bummed about cd 1, the staycation and other things. I know that this staycation will involve times where I get B duty while DH and BIL do adult things (like golf) so it's not really a vacation for me really.
On the weekend I was browsing through the obituaries in the local paper. I don't know if any other BLM's do this but I do. As I go through I take special notice of the ages. Well last Saturday as I browsed I came accross two notices, at the same funeral home for 5 day old babies. I knew one of the names.
An aquaintance who used to live a couple doors down from my sister. We had chatted about fertility stuff once upon a time ago. Her first child a little boy just turned 3. Her second child (the one whom the notice was for) died due to complications at birth. I know that with her first she very much wanted a natural birth but ended up with a c-section. I had pretty similar feelings about my cesarean birth as she wrote about here. When I heard the baby had gotten stuck behind the pubic bone and was oxgen deprived resulting in HIE my gut said VBAC gone very very bad. With no brain activity after several days in a cooling blanket they made the decision to remove life support.
I went for my baseline Monday morning (all good to go) I put a call into my bereavement counsellor since I was there. I went and talked to her for a few minutes and picked up a copy of Ethan's Butterflies, and she let me take a teddy from the Walk to Remember. I tried to drop them off that day but no one answered the door. I considered just leaving the things in the mail box but my sister thought I should try again to make a personal visit.
2 comments:
I go through the obituaries too! I'm always looking for babies, as morbid as that sounds. I've seen some children, but no babies yet. If I do ever come across one, I imagine going to the funeral home and just giving the Mom my name and number in case she ever wants to talk.
I'm glad to know you do this too. I thought I was the only one. I also go through the birth annoucements. Partly to torture myself and partly to see if the new baby has any siblings who have passed away. I find one once.
I am so sorry to hear about both of those babies. I'm glad that you are trying to do something to help. They must be so devastated right now. My heart is aching for them.
Glo, it is very kind of you to be reaching out to support this mom. I know I feel compelled to try to help other moms just starting on this path. I'd love to send her a care package from the support group out here in the Park. Could you email me her name/address and I'll get a package sent to her this weekend?
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