So after my meltdown on Friday my weekend has been kind of a Glo is not in a good mood weekend.
Just feeling a bit defeated I suppose.
After my failed HSG on Thursday I was feeling angry. Kind of the Why me? feeling all over again. What more do I have to have thrown my way. On Friday I did end up speaking to the nurse from the fertility clinic. She hadn't yet spoken to my doctor but she pretty much insinuated that I have tubal blockage and the reason I can't see my Doctor sooner is their push to get a lot of new referrals through. She did agree to ask my Doctor what his thoughts were and that she would get back to me this week.
I did NOT play the dead baby card....but I will....if I have too. It's not that I feel I am any more important than any other patient. But I am feeling rather fragile...waiting 6 weeks for my appointment and a next step is not a good thing for me right now.
Dr M. did say..."if there is anything we can do for you"....and honestly I hate when people say that in regards to losing Gavin because there isn't really anything anyone can say or do to help. BUT if I can get a little extra tlc through this ttc thing that probably would help. Is that a bad thing?
I just need to know. If I have tubal damage(I am not so sure I do) that can not be repaired and IUI is not in the cards any longer then I will have to grieve and accept that...I think it will also allow me to move along with life changes in other areas where I am not happy. Like I have said before I am just biding my time with my job.
That is another reason I was upset on Friday. A little birdie gave me some information early last week, probably inadvertently. I will hopefully find out the details tomorrow. Then I can say WTF?!?!?!? Please explain!! It's been difficult knowing this information and keeping my tongue firmly bit!
1 comment:
I think that at this point it's reasonable to play any card in your hand if that's what it takes to get you the treatment and support that you need. I really hope that you can get some answers soon, and that your tubes are OK.
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