It occurred to me that I've been avoiding certain tear triggers. There are things I used to do frequently like look through Gavin's pictures, watch the video montage I made, going through Gavin's things in his memory box.
I don't do those things much anymore.
I am not really sure if I've turned a corner in my healing or it's pure selfish avoidance. I'm tired of crying. I've cried so much in the last almost 5 months
I love Gavin so much and think about him all the time, but I am so tired of being sad and unhappy. I don't have to do things I know make me cry in order to keep him in my heart.
I am so ready for something good. I need it.
We did get a little bit of encouraging news this week. DH's work changed health insurance carriers. We are now covered for $5000 worth of fertility drugs. This is great news for us. One less thing to worry about. God willing we will have some happy news in the coming months.
1 comment:
I think that's a normal thing - it gets exhausting to cry all the time. Great news about the drug coverage!
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