I went for my first follicle check this morning. Things appear to be progressing nicely. I have two larger follies (although they are still technically small) one at 12mm and the other at 11mm. I go back on Sunday for another check and expect the IUI to happen Tuesday or Wednesday.
Well this is all exciting it is pretty scary at the same time. I want this to work. I want to be pregnant. I want to have a baby. The fear of the unknown is huge. I was talking about it with DH again last night....1:4 chance things will go horribly wrong....
I know if faced with the loss of another child I can and will continue on. But obviously it won't be without tears, pain, hurt and anguish.
I gave into one of my tear triggers just a few minutes ago. I cried hard....felt that familiar aching pressure on my chest. My Gavin.....I miss him....it hurts so bad.
I can't say I don't feel just a little selfish right now....hoping for another baby.
I am sorry baby boy I wish I had you.
1 comment:
Sending hugs and thinking of you. Wanting another baby doesn't mean that you love Gavin any less.
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