Must be a red flag on my chart

I had my appointment with DR M this afternoon. I've been feeling kind of off all day. Nerves probably played into that. I was nervous about what the next step would be.

I got there about 15 minutes before my appointment. Was called back nearly immediately. Now the last couple times I have been called back quickly then waited but didn't think much of it. Today I was called back and put in an exam room. The nurse then said to me we will move you to a consult room as soon as one becomes available. She did my history and left.

While I was sitting waiting it occurred to me that I must be red flagged. They could have just left me in the waiting room since there was no rooms available, instead they stuck me in an exam room. Honestly, I don't see a need for that type of special treatment at the RE's. Like I have said before if there are any preggo's they are early enough that a stranger wouldn't be able to pick them out from the crowd.

Next the resident came in. While it was difficult to understand him I did hear him call my loss of Gavin a miscarriage....more than once. I said to him, I do not consider my loss a miscarriage. My child was healthy and born alive. I almost gave him an earful, that if he intended on being an OB/GYN he needed to alter his attitude just a little. A grieving mother only wants her child to be recognized and calling it a miscarriage doesn't do that. I wish I had given him an earful.

DR. M made his way in a bit later. Asked about my well-being, if I was back to "normal" if my "heart was back to normal"....HAHA....my heart is forever changed...this damaged and scared heart is my new "normal."

So DR M was about to let me cycle with my next AF when I kindly reminded him that my HSG totally sucked and was inconclusive. Oh he said and re-read the report (I honestly don't think the nurse even talked to him last week). Anyways I am going for another HSG Thursday morning to once again see if my tubes are patent. I expressed to him that I was disappointed that I had to wait for this follow-up to make this decision on the repeat HSG. I think this is something we could have decided and booked over the phone. Oh well. If all I well I have the ok to cycle with next after....orders are written in the chart I saw it with my own eyes.

We talked about some other things too, my appointment at the peri-natal clinic, the plan for a pregnancy. He does agree with both Dr J and Dr T (surprise surprise) but he said the decision was mine and that if I strongly felt one way (that I wanted a cerclage)he would advocate for me.

Nice holiday week off....HSG #4.