Today is my last day as a sahm. I think I am going to miss it. For obvious reasons this "break" was much different from my "maternity leave" earlier this year.
I've enjoyed having snuggles with Brennan, talking with him, playing with him all that stuff. When I think about Gavin or how crappy my life has been in the last 7 months I give Brennan a snuggle and remind myself that he is my "good." It even made me happy that he was pouting for mommy when Daddy took him for a haircut this past weekend. It's so nice to feel needed and loved. I hope he transitions back into regular working schedule with ease.
Hoping and praying for a good today tomorrow at my new job. It's always a little awkward starting a new job, especially since I was at my last job for 5 years and was quite settled there (besides the chb). I am quite sure that once I get into the routine things will be just fine.
I am kind of feeling a bit guilty about the ttc thing. I don't plant to go back to iui until after my probationary period is done just because of the appointments required but that doesn't mean we will be preventing either. Ok so sometimes I think all signs are pointing to "take a break" first all the extra tests the RE wanted, the HSG that had to be repeated, then the canceled iui, then losing my job, then inability to get a cyst check due to clinic closure, then starting new job with 3 month probationary period. Honestly by the time we get back to iui it will be November....isn't that enough of a break? That will be 10 months since losing Gavin....and that still doesn't guarantee I will get pregnant with the next iui. I never imagined it would take so long. I hope there is a darn good reason...lol. I can think of a couple but it only counts if I do manage to get pregnant and deliver full term ;)
2 comments:
It can be hard to wait for God's time.
Good luck with your return to work. I hope that you will get a nice surprise before November! :)
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