Jan 23

So yesterday sucked.  Dh got a call after he got home from the agency he was employed through telling him his contract was over.  He wasn't showing enough initiative and whatever else.  So no more position and burnt bridges with the agency.

I'm angry.

I don't care if he was working long hours having a pt job also.  My philosophy is always put forth your best effort or fake it till you make it.

I'm angry.

I don't even know what to do or say.  It just sucks.  So now I get to go to my job and fake it because all I want t to do it lose it.

I'm angry. I am upset.

I went to the grief recovery seminar last night with my neighbour. It was good.  The presenter/psych pretty much gave an overview of the book and of course part of the reason for the seminar was to talk about the services she offers. Neighbour and I did have a nice heart to heart in the car.  Even though our griefs are different we can still relate and it is nice to talk without fear of judgement.

I don't know that this psych is the one for me and that's ok.  I think one of the reasons I like K is because she is a little bit older than me, kind of like a big sister, older and wiser more life experience.  The psych is 28 and while, yes, she also has experienced her own grief and is well trained I am not sure I would be as comfortable with her.

I'm tired. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. Sometimes it feels like I am playing how low can she go. It's not how I imagined life would be at all.