I think I've been trying to keep myself from going to that dreaded place where I was before getting pregnant. I don't think I am going to be very successful. My mind is full of negative thoughts. I feel terribly sorry for myself. I feel very angry, lost and confused.
I hate my life right now.....there I said it.
Physically my recovery is coming along. The worst thing is my poor swollen throat. I can hardly swallow. I think I will probably go back to work pretty quick less than the time I was written off for. There is nothing else to do. That is what my life has become, work to survive basically. Besides it gives me less time to think. Its certainly not a life one hopes for.
Having crappy things happen all the time has made it hard to see any light, any hope.
My one light of course is my little boy. He's been taking care of me (even when I don't need anything!) He tells Daddy when I need more ice in my cup, then he tells me to drink my water. He's pretty cute.
I am not looking forward at all to ttc. It took so long last time with many hurdles only to end badly. What's in store for us now? :( Another year, wasted money, wasted time, heartache. It sucks. The other day when I was in the waiting room at the OB office not only did I see a very young teen preggo, but to top it all off a mom came in with her 8 month old baby (her 4th) and was 16 weeks pregnant with twins. She "forgot" to get birth control in place. OMFG. Please can I vomit now?
1 comment:
When I was in high school, I sat next to a girl who used to brag about having two abortions. I always wanted to punch her in the face. So many women take it for granted.
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