D & C update

Surgery was yesterday.  I heard from my RE first thing and was told to come to the hospital for 11 and surgery would be at 12:30.  Unfortunately there was a snag.  The hospital needed the ultrasound confirming embryonic demise and even though the fertility clinic is right at the hospital the ultrasound images do not get put on "the system."  So I ended up waiting till about 4 before getting taken up to the OR.

While I waited I had a nice view of the to be Lois Hole Garden (too bad for all the snow).

 Got my IV I was SO dehydrated when they came for my blood draw the blood filled to tube so slowly!

I sat and chatted with my mom.  Yes I sent DH to work yesterday.  I didn't feel there was any point to him missing a day of work so he could sit around with me at the hospital.  My parents are retired and were more than happy to come with me.  Our beautiful neighbours and friends took care of Brennan, cleaned my house, and bought me chocolate.  Anyways DH came right after work and was there when I got out of surgery.

So back to while I waited.  Mom and I chatted about everything but the current situation.  The nurses from the early pregnancy loss program came to see me.  Handed me a folder which is pretty much identical to the one I was given 14 months ago.  The nurse and I talked and I told her that I had had a late loss just last year.  She impressed the fact upon me that it was ok to grieve this loss too.  Just because it was much earlier doesn't mean it's not a significant loss.  Me well I am trying to keep my cool but my mom starts to break down.  She just doesn't know how to handle this.  She can't talk about it to me or comfort me in the normal way, but she does hurt.

I've always said the EPL program is a great service to have.  They should be calling today to see how I am.

After a very long wait I was finally taken up to the OR (sans glasses!)  I had to wait outside for a bit.  Talk with the nurse and anesthetist.  I had some more time to think.  I was supposed to be in the OR waiting area in October to deliver a full term baby by c-section, not now, and not a dead baby to be aspirated from my womb.

Once  back in the OR they got me situation on the table I had my eyes closed (it sucks to have such bad eyesight).  My RE came in and said "she's asleep already?"  I wasn't of course so he came over to speak with me.  I honestly can't remember quite what he said.  After that they had me breath in some stuff and the next thing I remember is being in recovery and being told to wake up.  After a while in recovery I was sent back down to day surgery.  The nurse found my "tall handsome DH" and brought him (and my glasses in).  The recovery went well I was able to eat and drink right away, passed my first and second checks and went pee.  After that the iv came out and I was discharged!

Once home I was feeling some pretty good discomfort so I got up to bed and had my extra strength Advil's and my magic bag.  This morning I feel fine except my throat feels a bit bruised from the intubation I guess.  I am still happy with my choice to go with the D & C.

I have cried for this lost babe.....for my Dearest Gavin, for myself, my Dh, B.  I can't even being to comprehend why this had to happen.  Better first trimester than second as per Dr T but it still hurts all the same.  Why such a gift on  a natural long shot cycle just to have him/her die.  It feels like an absolute slap in the face, kick in the pants etc.  Life has not been very kind to us and it feels horrible.