24 weeks.....

I went out yesterday on my own. I needed to get out on my own for a little bit. I went to Michael's first. I was specifically looking for a memory box to hold Gavin's things. I couldn't find one big enough. They had some nice baskets but I would prefer something with a lid, so the search continues.

After that I went to Indigo there was a cd I was specifically looking for, they didn't have it. So I wandered over to the health/self help section. I knew they wouldn't have the book I was looking for. How did I know? Well I had done an online search no Indigo/Chapters Bookstores in my city carry said book. It has to be ordered online. I then checked out the small section on grief/bereavement. I found one book (yes only one) that was specific to death of child. Within that book one chapter on death of baby with small sections on stillbirth and neonatal loss. Not impressed. I wandered around for a little bit more until that song started on the speakers. I bee lined out ASAP choking back tears as I did.

I decided at trip to the Christian bookstore was required. I'm not ready to be joyful and praising at Church but I could manage the bookstore. I really thought I might find something to sooth my grieving heart. I did find the cd I wanted but was very disappointed in the selection (or lack of selection) of material for a grieving parent.

I know there are materials out there, but just not available in stores....hum....that says a lot. That grief especially resulting from the death of a child is not something that is socially acceptable. It makes people too uncomfortable.

I did notice however a plethora of books on fertility/infertility. Yet a few years ago when I first step into the world of infertility I was lucky to spot one or two books in store. Of course we are way beyond that. No amount of "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" is going to help us. That's what the fertility clinic is for...no I am not bitter.