We said Hello and Goodbye at the same time

I sadly announce the birth and death of Gavin William Mason January 9, 2010. He was 14oz and 27cm long. I will love him always.

Well I never thought when I walked into labour and delivery Friday January 8, 2010 that I would be leaving with an empty tummy, broken heart and baby boy in the morgue.

When I arrived at labour and delivery I was considered low risk. Everyone assumed as I did that it was a urinary tract infection or something like that. As a result I waited for quite a while. When I did get into the assessment room I found that I had started to spot/bleed again. While I waited for the resident to come and check me it only got worse. I was also feeling some pain/pressure in my abdomen

The resident came and did her speculum exam, then a manual exam. She sat down on the side of the bed put her hand on my arm and said I feel a bulging bag of waters and can not feel any cervix.

Well I lost it, I knew that wasn't good. The brought out the u/s equipment and saw a huge balloon of waters in my vagina. Cervix at about 3cm. My placenta also appeared to be low lying. Baby was doing fine the whole time.

I was immediately became very high risk and was placed with my feet above my head to take the pressure of the bag and to try to get it to go back into the uterus. I

I was told I had two outcomes. Either I would stop bleeding and they might be able to push the bag back in to do a stitch or I would deliver the baby. Of course he would not be viable at this gestation.

I was taken to a labour room. Still head below feet. I began to feel regular contractions plus an enormous amount of pressure and back pain. I was given some T3's, then a shot of morphine, and then gas. The only think that took the edge off was the morphine but it was very short lived.

By 1am this morning I was contracting every 2-3 minutes with the immense pressure. I knew that if I pushed even a little my waters would break.

Shortly after two while coping during a contraction I felt something move down and out....it was the bag of waters. I delivered Gavin at 2:17am. He was born alive, I am not sure how long he actually lived but it was just over an hour before the resident called the time of death. Will and I held him and loved him. We kept him with us for quite some time.

We are not sure of the cause of all this. My blood work did not show signs of infection. When the resident checked over the placenta she saw there were clots and wondered if perhaps I had abrupted.

We did not choose autopsy for Gavin as I know he was healthy. They will investigate the placenta and my blood work some more.

The hospital was great. The created a memory package for us and stuff. But I still would have rather been anywhere else.