Sudden urge

I've been feeling pretty moody lately. Not much patience, angry, very much in my own world.

Of course there is still everyday life to deal with. But being the weekend I can let DH help with B. I know he's worked all week....but really I need a break!

I got up slowly this morning took my time. I had some pretty disturbing dreams. The first is just a short clip in my memory now. I was with another lady in a bathroom stall of all places and we were being "hunted." As we were cowering together in this stall a man with a gun came in and sent a round through the stall door. The other lady was killed. My other dream, another short clip I was in the hospital, just had a baby. It was full term and living. Just one thing it obviously wasn't my husbands child (different ethnicity) and I guess in the dream I was fully aware of this. Things that make you go umm...

Took an OPK this morning....I don't have any left over HCG strips and since you can use an OPK as and HPT I decided to see what it said. Definitely neg. I think I remember hearing that HCG goes down faster the further along you are. When I had my mmc before B it took 6 weeks to zero out. So I am crossing fingers that my body is healing as it should be. PP bleeding...well it's lightening up and changing. I can't wait for that to be done.

After all this I went to sit in the nursery. I am glad I can sit in there. I didn't have the chance to make it Gavin's room. It started out as Brennan's room, Brennan's furniture and Brennan's things. It had become a bit of a dumping ground in the transition of getting Brennan into his big boy room. I had the sudden urge to get the room cleaned up. I got all of Brennan's things out (well except his diapers at the change table) and tidied up. It felt good. I didn't get it done for Gavin before he was born but it's done now. I can only hope we will get to use the nursery again.

Now onto the bigger project. Getting Brennan's room organized. That kid has so many clothes. The perk of having a grandmother that loves yard sales and family and friends who have boys a bit older....tons and tons of clothes. I see a trip to get a closet organizer in my future.