We were taking a drive over to Ikea this afternoon. I wasn't in a very good mood what so ever.
I sat quietly in the car. Silent tears rolling down my face. DH turned the radio to a Christian station that I do normally listen to. I guess he was trying to be nice as he doesn't listen to it ever.
Blessed Be Your Name happened to be on. Normally I like this song. Today it caused my silent tears to turn into outright sobbing. My two year old in the back seat telling me it will be all right.
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
Some of the lyrics that I find really tough to hear right now. I know we are supposed to look to Him and praise him in both good times and bad but...
I am just not in a place where I can even comprehend why we lost Gavin, let alone praise the one who took him home. I think it might be a while before I can attend services again.
3 comments:
I'm sorry Glo. There is real pain in this offering.
I don't have any good answers for you. I really don't.
I can totally understand the difficulty... I'm still struggling with it myself... It's hard to comprehend why we have to be given something so difficult to deal with... They say God never gives you more than you can handle but sometimes I wonder why in the heck I have to be so strong then... Hugz.
Glo, that song was one that got us through the time when we lost Noah... and while it did bring tears every time we heard or sang it at church (still does actually), eventually we got to the point of actually being able to sing the words and mean it. You'll get there girl. Go back and re-read your entries in 2008 and you'll see how God was holding you then as He is now.
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