I admit I am a closet Duggar fan.
When I heard of Josie's early birth last month (Dec 09) I was shocked and genuinely saddened for the family. 25 weeks gestation is very early and survival is not guaranteed and like I said in a previous entry chance of permanent disability are high.
I know that the Duggar's have received flack for their reproductive choices, which quite frankly aren't anybodies business but their own.
I watch the "Special Delivery" episode tonight. While I was looking forward to it I also knew it would be hard to watch. If I was still carrying Gavin, it would have been perhaps a little tearful but joyful knowing baby is alive and well today.
But I am not carrying Gavin in my womb any longer. I can't help but feel that it's not fair. Their baby is alive while mine is not.
In the last weeks since Gavin left I have come across so many blogs and stories of couples navigating this world of baby loss. It is very surprising how many of these couples are also affected by infertility. It breaks my heart for anyone to have lost a baby, but infertility on top of that just "takes the cake." It's just not right nor fair.
People say God only gives you what you are capable of handling.....but why the heck does all THIS have to be what I am given? I could really use something good for a change.

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