When we came home from the hospital on Saturday I was looking forward to seeing my 2 year old son the next day. I couldn't wait to give him a big hug. He doesn't understand that mommy lost a baby or that she was even pregnant. We were talking about the baby in mommy's tummy but I don't think he had grasped the concept.
My husband went back to work today. I understand his reasons why, but he could have at least taking the one more day allowed to him.
As I laid in bed this morning suffering from chills and hot flashes, a sign my pregnancy hormones are crashing. I heard my son calling to daddy from his room. I didn't want to get up. I just wanted to lay in bed and rest/wallow as long as I pleased. I did end up staying in bed until 8:30 before deciding I really needed to get up. If not for me but for my son.
I noticed I am down about 10lbs, while this might be normal after giving birth I didn't actually have more than a couple pounds gain during pregnancy so this new weight on the scale is a number I haven't seen in quite a while (I was overweight to start). I have a feeling that as soon as I get off my but and actually make myself something or go stock up on easy eats (junk food) it will go right back up. It would be nice to keep it off though...it would be a good thing trust me.
Kiddo is nearly done with his breakfast....thank goodness he loves cereal.
2 comments:
I totally relate to this... continuing on for your older child. I think it was Marrah that kept me going those first few weeks without Kaelen. Even now, when I have a bad day, she's there and reminds me that even if my heart is aching for my son, I do have a beautiful little girl to rejoice for and am thankful at least for that. HUGZ.
I feel for your loss most deeply.
When my Gabriel came and spent half an hour with us before he too left too quickly, I was afforded two weeks off (10 days). And then my office was closed for the week after Christmas - per usual.
This was not enough time. If I knew now what I knew then, I would have taken at least three MONTHS off from work. I was 90% useless when I went back to work.
I've yet to find something so difficult, misunderstood, yet sadly common as baby loss.
I can only suggest that your Mr. take a read (My post):
http://mrsspit.ca/?p=31
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