Dear Mother,

When and if I am ready I will go back to church. I will not go back just because you want me to or because it's the "right" thing to do.

I am not ready to praise and be joyful.

I don't expect you to understand the pain I feel.

Right now I can not imagine any pain worse than having my child, my precious baby boy, die in my arms as he gasped for oxygen to fill his immature lungs.

Just because he arrived 19 weeks prior to his due date does not make him any less my child. Flesh of my flesh. He was perfect in every way.

Please be patient as I grieve and mourn his loss.

Your Daughter